Awake
by Starry-eyed Creator
Summary: Maybe I, I can never fly I can't fly like the flower petals over there Or as though I have wings Maybe I, I can't touch the sky Still, I want to stretch my hand outI want to run Just a bit more. BTS Kim Seokjin/Jin fanfic.


**I recommend listening to Awake while reading for all the feels. I almost cried.**

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Jin never felt particularly special.

_It's not that I believe it_

_But that I want to try holding out_

Not that he'd let it show. He had labels stuck on him that he had to fulfil.

He was meant to be Mr Worldwide Handsome. Car Door Guy and Third Guy From The Left. Confident and handsome. Talented and funny. Perfect.

He thought that if he pretended to be those things, he might actually fool himself into believing it.

_Because this is_

_All that I can do_

Jin didn't plan to become a K-pop star. He dreamed of becoming an actor, yet before he knew it, he was yanked into his new life.

They told him that he was going to be a vocalist. Him, with no previous singing experience, a vocalist.

_I want to remain_

_I want to dream more_

He was determined to prove that he was more than a pretty face. He practised till his eyes burned and his throat was hoarse. He was going to do it. He _had_ to become someone special.

_Even so, what I'm saying is_

_That it's time to leave_

Time had no meaning. Sleep meant nothing. All he did was practice. Practise, practise, practise. His _would_ be a good dancer and an even better vocalist.

_Yeah it's my truth_

_It's my truth_

They had nothing when they started out. Squeezed into their shared, cramped apartment room, Jin vowed that he and his six members would prosper. Their blood, sweat and tears wouldn't be for nothing.

_I will be covered with wounds all over_

He was right. It took them years and they almost gave up, but they made it. _They_ made it. He wasn't so sure _he_ did.

_But it's my fate_

_It's my fate_

The others were so talented. Admirers flocked to them. He wasn't even spared a second look.

_Still, I want to struggle and fight_

Kim Namjoon was intelligent and the best leader Jin could have wished for. With his kind eyes and adorable dimples, he encouraged those around him constantly. Namjoon's way with words was admired near and far by ARMY's.

_Maybe I, I can never fly_

Even the other members looked up to him. He was the reason BTS was together, after all.

_I can't fly like the flower petals over there_

_Or as though I have wings_

Min Yoongi. An exceptional rapper and Jin heard the words "tongue technology" often associated with his fellow member. Under the names Suga and Agust D, his member truly showcased his talent and hard work.

_Maybe I, I can't touch the sky_

His meaningful rapping, his skill with the piano and basketball. Many were charmed by the rapper's cold exterior but soft personality.

_Still, I want to stretch my hand out_

_I want to run, just a bit more_

Jung Hoseok was their Golden Hyung. Taking the stage as J-Hope, he was like pure sunshine. Optimistic, bright and warm. _Blinding_. His emotional rapping and expertise in dancing outshined them all.

_I'm just walking and walking, among this darkness_

Like Jin with singing, Hobi had no previous experience when it came to rapping. But he learnt quickly. And unlike Jin, Hoseok had great talent and practise with dancing.

Jin had to be careful. If he flew too close to the sun, he'd burn.

_My happy times asked me this question_

Front and centre was Park Jimin. He was sweet and friendly, but Jin couldn't help but envy him. His cuteness attracted ARMY's, but when he stepped on stage, it seemed as if a demon inhabited his body.

Everyone focused on _his_ dancing, on _his_ singing. Jin wished he have a half, no, a _third_ of Jimin's spotlight. If he just had a few more lines in songs or a few more seconds in MV's, Jin knew he'd be popular too.

_You, are you really okay, it asked me_

_Oh no_

Kim Taehyung was in the mankae line, which meant that he was definitely a favourite. He didn't get as many lines as Jimin or Jungkook, but considerately more than Jin.

When V sang with his rich voice, it made people's knees go weak. His beauty wasn't anything to scoff at either. With full lips, luscious hair, a single monolid and the other eye double lidded, he was alluring.

_I replied, no, I'm so afraid_

And their Golden Mankae. Jin knew he worked hard, but everything seemed so effortless to Jeon Jeongguk. He was bursting with natural talent, whether with singing, rapping, dancing, drawing, track or even archery.

Jungkook was thrust into the real world at such a young age, but Jin didn't necessarily pity him for it. Even if Kookie's youth was spent inside a studio.

_Still, I hold the 6 flowers tightly in my hands_

_I, I'm just walking, I said_

_Oh no_

Jin would constantly pepper himself with compliments. It had become a habit.

_But it's my fate_

_It's my fate_

_Still, I want to struggle and fight_

Jin savoured his members and fans more than they knew. Their sincere and gushing compliments turned him into a blushing mess. It made him feel as he was just as worthy as the rest.

_Maybe I, I can never fly_

_I can't fly like the flower petals over there_

_Or as though I have wings_

Jin stood on the stage, with his head bent back as he sang the high note. He stage platform was rising and he felt the hot all around him. The ARMY's chanted and for once, Jin felt like he was flying.

_Maybe I, I can't touch the sky_

_Still, I want to stretch my hand out_

_I want to run, just a bit more_

They were like birds. His members were soaring through the sky, towards the heavens. They looked so graceful, so ethereal. Jin followed them as fast as he could.

_Wide awake, wide awake, wide awake_

_Don't cry_

Jin flapped his wings as he chased after him, his heart thrashing desperately in his chest. He would fly. He would touch the sky. He would!

_Wide awake, wide awake, wide awake_

_No lie_

Jin felt his wings become weaker and frailer. He screamed as his feet touched the ground. He wouldn't give up!

_Wide awake, wide awake, wide awake_

_Don't cry_

His feet pounded against the ground as he ran and his arm extended towards the sky. Jin scurried down the earth, eyes locked on his members.

He forcefully shot himself into the sky, ignoring the agonising tears that slipped down his face. His hands reached hopelessly for the heavens. He was so close! _He would make it!_

_Wide awake, wide awake, wide awake_

_No lie_

Jin closed his eyes. They were too far ahead. He was too far behind. He let his hand drop.

What was the point? Maybe he wouldn't be as popular and successful as his members. Maybe that was okay.

_Maybe I, I can never fly_

_I can't fly like the flower petals over there_

_Or as though I have wings_

Jin plunged toward the earth. The wind bit at his skin, tugging at his hair. The black feathers peeled off his wings and embraced him in ebony despair.

It was okay, wasn't it? As long his members were still soaring above the breathtaking sunset with dripping pinks and purples, he was okay with observing from below.

_Maybe I, I can't touch the sky_

_Still, I want to stretch my hand out_

Jin felt multiple pairs of arms grip him. He was lurched upward and his eyes bolted open. The clouds tickled his feet and the painted sky smiled at his expression of awe and gratitude. Of love.

He... They made it.

_I want to run_

_Just a bit more_

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**1289 words.**

**Awake is truly an amazing song. My favourite, I think. And even though I adore all seven members the same, I feel that Jin doesn't get nearly enough love. He is so charming and an amazing vocalist.**

**I purple you, Mr Worldwide Handsome!**


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